would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
is wine microwaveable?
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Randomize
