I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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