i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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