Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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