You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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