You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
