So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
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you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
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Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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