I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
We got so high we made milksteak
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
