It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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