so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize