Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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