They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Randomize
