I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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