I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
