She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
