We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
