your parents love me but you hate me
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Randomize
