he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
