so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
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