Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
True but thats because hes a fetus.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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