check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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