someone get that fucking seahorse.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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