This is not my ceiling
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
