I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Randomize
