Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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