Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
