wake up i wanna do it froggy style
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
So vagazzling was a success
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
