Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize