Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She announced her abortion via fbk
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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