The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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