I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Randomize
