none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
