I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
