Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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