i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
