you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
