...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
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