You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
