And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
