Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
