i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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