eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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