today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
