"it" just moved
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
You smell like stripper and shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
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