If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
