I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
