im holly from the hills drunk
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize