Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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