You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
