he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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