You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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