i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
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