the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
