took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
We need to get me chipped asap
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
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