If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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