he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
