I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Randomize
