You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
