Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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