dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
His nipple licking is glorious
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