Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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